At the end of a fast moving day of school, Hanna and me decided to go to Susie鈥檚 apartment. As we were walking we noticed Jordan l. and Kylan were on the other side of the road. We yelled for them and said hi so for some reason they decided to cross the rode while cars were running, Then they called there parents so they could come with us and we all went to shadow creek. We were both kind of in a shock but I mean what can we do about it?? When we were almost to Susie鈥檚 apartment we found a pizza coupon and said why not, lets order pizza. Susie asked her dad and he said yes then he gave us 12 dollars. We wanted to eat at the basketball court so Susie called pizza village and a man picked up he asked for our phone number Susie told him the number we were calling from (Kylan鈥檚 phone) Then we told him the order and he said okay then hung up. Kylan got mad so she called back and someone else picked up the phone it was a girl.
We told her that we had just placed an order with the man we have talked to before. She did not take us seriously, Kylan and Susie kept calling but she always hung up. Jordan then had to go. Kylan got mad then with a very furious voice Kylan told the woman we would like our pizza!! It didn鈥檛 work she still hung up. Susie told kylan and Hanna we should forget and just bring the money back home, but they did not agree to that idea. Then Susie with a long sigh started entering the numbers, apologizing to the lady saying it was a misunderstanding, but nooo she did not accept the apology, with a very serious voice the woman said she would call the police for prank calling then hung up. Susie whined saying what have just happened then collapsed to the ground crying.
Hanna was a little worried but kylan didn鈥檛 seem worried at all. While an employee walked paced she noticed Susie鈥檚 crying and ask her why? She explained with a soft tone voice then continued crying. The lady said no they can鈥檛 do that then called Italian village explains what happened and how they weren鈥檛 prank calling. At the end she says well these kids are sitting here with all there cash waiting for a pizza and if you don鈥檛 want money that鈥檚 your problem. She hangs up on them and then says everything鈥檚 going to be all right. When she leaves Susie is still crying on the floor. But soon gets up and again continues crying. As they walk away from where all the drama happened, they know they鈥檇 be all right and that what that girl did was beautiful.True story i written?
ummm you have a good story but you need to structure it properly because as i read the story its very hectic (not in a good way) make it so its not confusing because i had to read back and say wait what happened. Write in a slow pace. Hope this helps. :)
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